Commentary

In my obituary, I used the play on words 'a-bit-dreary' to indicate to the reader that the piece was going to be quite humorous and informal. This set the tone of the discourse before the reader had even read the obituary. I used the quotation from Jonathon Swift's poem 'A Satirical Elegy...'to also suggest to the reader that the piece was going to be satirical and it wasn't supposed to be taken too seriously. For the first paragraph I used factual information such as Donald Trump's birthplace and early life experiences to conform to the genre conventions of an obituary and maintain a basic level of formality, however I did use sarcastic language when referencing to the war and when quoting Donald himself ('a small loan of a million dollars') so that my personal critical view of Trump was communicated but it was not done in a way that turned it into an opinion piece rather than an obituary.


I used the unconventional simile of the dog marking his territory to spark connotations of uncleanliness, animalistic tendencies and possessiveness for the reader. The lexical choice of the adverb 'even' was used to emphasise the sarcastic tone of the piece, and the direct address of 'you' connected with the reader as it assumes that the reader has the same views as me, the writer. I also attempted to use a form of metalanguage as I mentioned the symbolism of Donald Trump owning a series of beauty pageants. I hoped that this would be thought-provoking as it causes the reader to think deeper about the meaning of this, but it could also be interpreted as darkly humorous by some readers, depending on their view of Donald Trump.


In my eulogy, I had to change the mood of the writing drastically as the two pieces were going to be so different. I began the piece by using the fact of the date, similar to in the obituary piece, to detach myself slightly from the writing and give a sense of respectful formality. I used the hyperbole of 'unimaginable strength' to stress to the reader how strongly I felt about the person being written about. This is then reiterated in the adverb 'cruelly' as it has connotations of something inhumane: something so heart-breaking that it doesn't seem right or ethical. I used the informal phrase 'to be honest' to show awareness of the eulogy needing to be read out in front of a group of people both the writer and the person being written about had connections with, rather than an obituary in a newspaper for anyone to see. This is then emphasised with the direct address of the pronoun 'you' which involves the listener in the piece and makes the eulogy feel more accessible and personal.


 To touch on an anecdotal segment, I referenced Daryl being the 'little spoon' which would have been a small amount of light, humorous relief for the listeners who would most definitely be in need of it.
I also used the metaphor of unconditional love being 'locked up' inside him to give the piece a more powerful edge, as well as hint to the personality of the person being written about, as someone quite defensive and 'tough'. This contrasts with the anecdotal phase of the 'little spoon' and therefore shows dimensions to Daryl's personality. In terms of phonology, I used the plosive, alliterative sounds of 'powerful and protected' to emphasise the suggested role of Daryl within the group as someone who is constantly on guard, both literally and figuratively. I hoped that the ending of the eulogy would leave a bittersweet feeling for the listener as it mentions some things personal to Daryl: his motorbike and his crossbows.