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Hiya my lovelies,

As requested by you guys, this is going to be a post all about my experience of college so far. I know many of you are of school age so I hope this helps you out in some way! I’ve decided to compile some of the things I’ve learnt into a list because if you’re anything like me, big walls of text aren’t fun to read.

1.       The first few weeks are hell. A mess of disjointed classrooms, stairs that lead to nowhere and lots of free periods spent wandering through the café trying to find either a familiar face or just one that doesn’t look like it’s about to kill you. The only way through this is to be brave. Introduce yourself, ask for phone numbers, take photos of timetables and remember ‘What subjects do you take?’ is always a good conversation starter, unless you’ve approached a young teacher, in which case I’m sorry.

2.       Your free periods are not just a good time to gather your friends together and talk about all the revision you don’t have time to do. Seriously, they’re precious and are a good opportunity to type up some notes, recap last lesson’s work or attend a workshop to ask the questions you didn’t have the chance to ask because there’s always that one kid who thinks that they’re the only person in that class who is trying to learn. Apparently they’re entitled to answering every question and not giving anyone else a chance.

3.       Forget all about cliques. I know back in secondary school it was all: ‘Oh no, only those people sit on that table’ and ‘Oh, we can’t hang out with them because they’re…’ but seriously, in college it’s a different story. If someone is in your class, if someone vaguely knows one of your friends, if someone is sat on their own, if there’s a group of friends you want to talk to…then just do it. You’ll find yourself making loads of really different and interesting friends, and trust me, that’s a good thing.

4.       Go out more. If you’re invited to something, just go for it. You might only know one person, you might know many, you might not even like the activity, but the chances are it’ll be a laugh. You’ll meet new people, you’ll spend time with people who think you’re great- what’s not to love? Even if it means going to some crappy trampoline ‘disco’ on a Friday night and you’re surrounded by little kids (who are clearly judging you), something really awesome might come out of it, you never know.

5.       But saying that, remember why you’re there: to get good grades, to learn about subjects that actually interest you and get a bit more independence. Of course it’s fun to have a much more exciting social life than you did in secondary school (I hope…), but your grades must come first in any situation that doesn’t jeopardise your mental health. So this means you can probably skip seeing your friend for 10 minutes in order to finish off an English essay, but you should definitely remember that there is a life to be had outside of lessons and work.

Thanks so much for reading this guys, let me know if you have any suggestions for my next blog post! 

Fantasy

Fantasy piece

Ellie had never believed in fairies. The tooth fairy, sure, until she was 7 or 8 and she saw her mother sneak into her room with a £1 coin and a note in her hand. But never as real, actually living creatures. That was until last Summer, when she somehow stumbled into a whole other world whilst in her grandmother’s garden.

It had all happened so fast. All she remembers of before was digging around some mushrooms, and then suddenly she was falling, faster and faster like when you think you’re asleep but are then jerked awake. Except she didn’t wake up: this wasn’t a dream.

When she finally hit the bottom, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Everywhere there was colour, some she recognised, others she didn’t. The grass smelt like sweets and everything was coated in a thin film of glitter. Looking at her fingers in disbelief, she could see the pale green sparkles on her fingertips. Walking felt lighter than it did in Reality, as if gravity wasn’t as powerful somehow. When she jumped, Ellie hovered for a good 5 and a half seconds before slowly sinking back onto the ground. All around her there were trees, towering and spiralling upwards. Some were thin and had long, stretched out branches that reminded Ellie of being a ballet dancer and others were tall, great hunks of bark and leaves. When she rested against a tree, a small blue bird hopped onto her hand and peered at her with beady, unblinking eyes. The bird had been knitted so it was made out of the softest wool imaginable and it’s eyes were buttons with a perfect cross stitch holding them together.

“That’s Feather. Sweet, isn’t she?” A voice said from behind her, making Ellie jump. The bird flew away, ascending into the purple-pink sky. There was a girl with long red hair smiling at her gently, swinging her arm from one of the branches and wrapping her slender body around the trunk of the tree. She had startlingly green eyes and glowing pale skin spattered with freckles, but what took Ellie aback the most was her gorgeous wings that fluttered gently. They were just like in the fairytale stories, shining and glittering in the sunlight. You could see flecks of every colour dance in her aura.

“Who are you?” Ellie breathed, too in awe to pretend she wasn’t even slightly startled. The girl grinned cheekily.

“I’m Blossom, the only one around here who knows how to talk to strangers apparently. Don’t worry, the other fairies are just a bit shy. They say I’m too talkative but I guess it comes in handy in times like this.” She raised her voice at the end, obviously laughing.

“Fairies?” A lump formed in Ellie’s throat. Was this it? Was everything she told as a child…true?

“Oh, come on, Ellie! You think these wings are just for decoration?” Blossom reached behind and tugged at the top of one of her wings. It lit up as she did so.

“How does she know my name?” Ellie thought to herself as she followed behind Blossom, who seemed to be leading her towards a river.

“I know everything, silly! You’re only a tadpole late: your grandmother said you would be here for around Lily ‘o’ clock but that’s okay. You’re here now and that’s what matters! So Ellie, this is Faeland. Welcome home.”

Representation of women in AHWOSG

-'If the star of the something-like-a-date expresses any reservations about having Toph along, she is clearly a very bad person'
Dave has impossibly high standards for the women in his life. If they do not fit his exact, cookie-cutter shape of what they should be like, how they should feel, how they should behave, they are more than just inferior to him- they are bad people altogether and don't deserve to be in his life.

-'It means that I like her less...she is misguided, self-centered and also a bad person...that's not her place and there's no coming out of that alive'
Dave wants women to say in a certain space, somewhere he can be detached from them. He seems to view women as not having any natural curiosities or feelings, and that anything he doesn't approve of is rude and unacceptable.

-'The 29 year old, an actual woman-woman'
Hierarchy of women. Concept of 'real' women and 'fake' women. Women aren't 'real' women until they are mature and perhaps are more likely to be manipulated by him, as he thinks he knows what's going on inside every woman's head. Ageism.

-'If she would be wrinkled, prunelike, sagging...I was ready to be horrified...if I had to touch her pimpled or varicose flesh'
Naive, childish, immature. Very sexist and ageist as he assumes that anyone above his own age is old, even though the woman he is dating is only 29. Extremely inexperienced and narrow-minded when it comes to the female body.

-'Marny's breasts...are kind of uneven...June looks normal.'
Wants a woman with a 'perfect' (not real) body. Lexical choice of 'normal' shows how messed up Dave's idea is of woman as he has this ideal image in his head of what a woman's breasts should look like, and anything that is not this perfect image is abnormal, weird or disgusting.

-'She is my mother, my girlfriend, my wife.'
Reminds me of the anti-rape campaign that was to do with 'how would you feel if that was your mother? Your wife? etc' Women are only important and matter if they have some relationship with you.

-'I want Toph to be her friend and make her happy'
A girl can only happy if she has a friend who is a boy/relationship with a boy. As the girl is slightly on the larger side then it is presumed that she is unhappy.

-'I was looking to score. I expected flirting. I expected attractive single mothers.'
Thinks very highly of himself. Presumes single mothers to be attractive and desperate.

Notes: pg 166-182 (AHWOSG)

'We're all lying'
-Collective pronoun shows certainty of others around him, he believes that everyone feels the same was as he does
-Present tense of 'ongoing', suggests he is a deceiving person
-Short sentence, statement/declarative

'They have tattoos before everyone has tattoos...no cars that are not old cars...'
-Culture shock?
-Feels that he physically looks different from everyone else
-Confusion/awe

'We say nothing and complain little...we have to work 18 hours a day...we're in a certain place'
-Feels that he needs to meet high standards in order to really 'work'
-Very submissive, he's being manipulated, brainwashed?
-Blends in completely, not seen as an individual, similar to when he moved into a diverse neighbourhood

'We want them doing things that we will find interesting'
-Demanding
-Focus on 'we' shows that he's slowly becoming a part of a collective
-Selfish, manipulative, corporate

'We are obsessed with seeming diverse'
-Very racist
-Token minority individuals used to make his company look better
-Careless wording, obviously lying because of 'seeming'. Aware that it's all a lie.
-'June is our black friend....' Places huge weight on the colour of someone's skin.

'Home' essay (AHWOSG)

The first presentation we get of home in 'A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius' is the metaphor of the house being a 'factory'. Eggers used this to show that Dave was detached from his home environment and that he views his home as an artificial production line. This could be because of his mother's illness: he views it as more of a hospital setting with people going in and out. However in this case, his mother barely leaves the house so it shows that she's not getting better.

We know this from the quotation 'there was a time when she was still up and about...running errands'. This shows stagnation and that his mother's progress towards health has come to a stand still. Everything is decaying around him because his mother can no longer clean or maintain the house the was she used to. Just as her body is decaying, so is the house.

Eggers uses the quotation '...inviting everyone to come and watch us in the middle of our disintegration' to show how protective Dave feels toward the house, as if it's his personal place to break down, The idea of having a party at home feels odd because for him these concepts are juxtaposed: a party is seen as fun, vibrant and full of life whereas his home feels like a 'factory', somewhere grey and dull and drained of energy. This links with Dave's uncomfortable feeling about 'everyone knowing' his family's issues because he doesn't want to invite strangers or friends into somewhere he doesn't feel they belong: his home. For Dave, there is both a physical and emotional barrier between him and the people outside. The physical barrier is the house's walls and the emotional barrier is the one he puts there himself, shown in the quotation: 'I....have developed elaborate fantasies for those who would see...our situation (as) gossip fodder.' The lexical choice of 'fodder' has connotations of a farm and animals, suggesting that Eggers saw his neighbours and anyone outside of his family as beasts waiting to feast on his bad news/situation. He uses his home to keep them away, even stating that he is 'not a proponent of the curtains being open'. This shows that he will go to desperate measures to stop anyone from seeing the truth about his home life.

The sublet that Dave describes can be contrasted with the family home, as he wants to be somewhere small in a place that is rather big eg. California. In his home, he is considered the 'big' one in some place small, which is the family home. Dave has to be Toph's big brother as well as his guardian and he has to be his mother's carer and look after her. Because of this he feels 'seen' by everyone around him, shown when Eggers uses the repetition of 'everybody knows'. Dave feels like he's constantly being watched, talked about and intruded upon because of his situation, and he wants to his home to be somewhere quite detached, temporary ('sublet') and freeing, shown in the description of the scenery around him, for example the hilltops, the sky and the sea. Later on in the memoir when Dave is searching for a new house, it's clear that he can't afford the house he really wants and this is upsetting for him as he sees home as such an important and influential part of his life. He can't afford anywhere with even a bathtub or doors, let alone a beautiful backdrop to his story. It's important to mention that having doors would be essential for Dave as he is so guarded about his home life.

On page 61, Eggers uses the exclamation marks in the living arrangements description to show Dave's excitement, youthfulness and naivety. He's almost parodying his past self by using short, exclamatory sentences that make him sound innocent and child-like. The fact that the emphasis has been placed on everything being shared, 'like a commune', shows how sick Dave is of all the constant responsibility and pressure. It shows that he feels isolated and detached from everyone else around him, and that he would appreciate being able to share his struggles to keep on top of everything he currently has control over.

When him and Toph do get their own place, Dave is adamant that Toph helps with the chores so he is not alone in doing the housework. As Eggers compares this to college, it is further reinstated that Dave wants to go back to the way he feels he should be in his early 20s: playful and not taking anything too seriously, but he is also cynical and bitter about the way he acted before he had to take on a more mature role within in the family. This is supported by the use of the diagram on page 62, as the floor plan, although it shows that Dave has awareness of the practicalities of owning a house, it indicates the perfect area to slide in socks which reminds the reader how young Dave really is and perhaps makes us feel more protective towards him. When the entropy of living conditions is made clear on page 82, Eggers uses the child-like lexical choices of 'call me bad names' to show Dave's true innocence and fragility. This has connotations of bullying, which is probably what Eggers was trying to convey: Dave feels bullied by the outside world, made to feel small by the people around him.

When Dave and Toph finally do get a house, they are surrounded by what could be considered minority neighbours. For once they are not the topic of conversation because there are so many more people around them who have their own stories to tell. They are not unusual, or pitied upon, or felt sorry for, because in this neighbourhood they are not special at all: they blend in with everyone else.

PEE paragraph on transcript and the Drummer Hodge scene

Transcript
The teacher uses interrogatives such as 'so what is the main point of the poem?' to set the agenda of the class discussion and make the class think. The lexical choice of 'so' focuses the students and adds to the fact that she wants them to come to a conclusion. Interrogatives are also used in latched talk: 'it's a kind of, of amorous play, isn't it?' 'Amorous?' 'Yes, amorous play' which shows the asymmetrical power between the student and the teacher. The teacher has more airtime which shows her expertise and makes her sound more knowledgeable. The interrogatives are also used to apply constraints to the discussion: 'is that a threat?' to remind the student, Alex, that they're in a classroom and she as the teacher has control over him. This asymmetrical power is then challenged using another interrogative 'what if I don't answer?' which shows sarcasm and a certain amount of disrespect for the teacher's authority.

The Drummer Hodge scene
The techniques used during this scene show how Hector and Posner are both very isolated and lonely characters. The use of latched talk makes Posner sound eager: 'How old was he?' 'If he's a drummer...' 'No. Hardy.' and shows that the poem has made an impact on him. As well as this, the adjacency pair of 'not being in the swim. Can you see that?' 'Yes, sir. I felt that a bit.' shows that Posner feels comfortable with Hector and this is also a co-operative overlap. However, Hector quickly puts constraints on this situation as he says 'shall we just have the last verse again and I'll let you go.' which reminds both the characters and the audience that they're in a professional, classroom setting and that there is an asymmetrical power between the two characters. Hector shows his expertise through utterances like 'it's a turn of phrase he has bequeathed to Larkin, who liked Hardy apparently' which Bennett uses to show how knowledgeable, fluent and passionate he is. This is also shown in the longer airtime Hector has compared to Posner: the audience can tell that this is an important scene between the characters and that Posner is learning something from Hector who is shown as being wise but vulnerable,

Donnie Darko film review

Donnie Darko film review

Considered a cult classic by many, misunderstood by others, there’s no arguing that Donnie Darko (2001) is one hell of a film. Is it a horror film? Is it a psychological thriller? Critics have been trying to label this film ever since its release but it is difficult. The film does deal with some quite horrific ideals but it’s not scary in the sense of jump scares and popcorn flying out of buckets. With its irresistible misery and twisted plotline, it’s a film that can be rewatched over and over again whilst still finding more things to love and understand. The casting choices are great, with Jake Gyllenhaal taking the title role as a schizophrenic teenager who is told by a grotesque-looking rabbit (called Frank, naturally) that the world is going to end in 28 days. As the film progresses, you can see Donnie gradually becoming more disturbed and him trying to understand the meaning behind his troubling visions. Not for the faint hearted, his journey ends up becoming a chilling experience for both Donnie and the audience.

Richard Kelly (director) expertly uses the artificial exploitation of the American-dream lifestyle to emphasize Donnie’s inner turmoil: houses with white picket fences and carefully mown lawns contrast perfectly with Donnie’s unnerving hallucinations and a darker, more twisted side to time travel. There is a kind of beauty in nothing making sense at first glance, but by the end of the film, it all clicks into place. In particular, some of the more distressing scenes are filmed in such a way that the audience feels like they’re hallucinating and this adds to the dissociation and oppressive intensity of the film. It would also be fitting to mention the incredible choice of music to accompany the film. In fact, I would argue that in many of the scenes in the film, it’s the chilling music that makes the atmosphere so downright creepy.

What’s so enthralling about this film is the way it manages to combine so many different topics whilst still having a distinct purpose. Kelly manages to combine romance, reality, the future, time travel, mental illness and horror into nearly every scene which is important and necessary for the conclusion of the film to be understood. This perhaps explains why it has so much of a cult following and why it continues to maintain such a respected cinematic status. Despite its somewhat puzzling ending, this doesn’t take away from the rest of the film; it instead adds to it and makes you want to watch the whole thing again: the definition of a brilliant film. You are left with so many questions that all you can do is sit in silence as ‘Mad World’ plays in the finishing sequence and press replay. Overall it’s a film that will stay with you long after the final credits roll. Donnie Darko has a concept and plot surrounding it that is so unique I doubt you will ever see anything like it again.